11 posts tagged “work”
I've been in a weird mood for the past few days. Maybe the woman thing is to blame, though I don't like jumping on that bandwagon for a week every month. This transition from freelancing to a job is somewhat difficult, only because I am allowing the stresses from my freelancing bother me still. I have some projects I need to finish, and I'm trying to find the time to do them between planning a wedding, working a part time (practically full time) job, and keeping John happy.
John and I went on a double date tonight that at one point became a triple date. It was a lot of fun, and I'd love to do it again sometime. Now that I write it, it sounds kind of boring, but John is the one with the gift of words. I'm often verbose without saying much, whereas when he says something it's thought-provoking and intriguing. We sat at Gators for a long time just discussing the state of our nation, religion, and all sorts of political, social and philosophical issues. I may not always have something especially interesting to add, but I enjoy listening.
We didn't really do anything special on Valentine's day, though we don't really celebrate it anyway. I was content snuggling up on the couch while watching the season three DVDs of the Office. I'll catch up one of these days!
Things have been a little hectic on this end since I started my new job last week. I'm trying to juggle several different things on my plate: a job, freelancing, planning my wedding, etc. Things are still going to be a little tight until paychecks start rolling in, but I'm not really worried about it that much. John is still seeking employment, but I'm sure something will come around for him soon. Well, I anticipated a longer post than this, but I'm not really in a blogging mood -- more out of necessity than desire. I'll be back when I feel like I can relax and write something more interesting about the past week.
I will say that when I got home from work, the water was turned off. That's the sort of thing you take for granted and don't really realize how much you use it until it's not there. Don't worry, it's not off because we neglected to pay our bills (I just thought about that when I was typing this). There are a bunch of guys outside digging up some turf, and I have a strong inclination they have something to do with it because we talked to them and they said the water should come back on in about 3 hours. I'm not sure what they are doing.
I haven't posted in here for awhile (boy, I start a lot of posts like this!). Life has just been, well, life. You could say I have been a little depressed lately for many different reasons, but I'm trying not to dwell on the negative things. There will always be something you wish you could change. If I can't be content now, then I never will be. That's one lesson I can't forget, but it's so easy to. Yesterday I ended up working all night. I think I worked for like 17 hours or something ridiculous like that. It was quite possibly the most horrible thing I have done lately, and now I'm just trying to get back on track with my schedule. It seems like as soon as I get close to having everything going the way it should, something like this happens and sets me back. Now I have to try and pick up the pieces and hope my clients are not too put off by the delays. I really wanted to get these projects wrapped up ASAP too. I wanted to see how fast I could finish them... *sigh* It's always one thing or another.
My weight loss is still chugging along, and I'm pretty pleased with the results so far! I've lost a total of 17.5lbs. I can't tell a huge difference in the mirror, but I was able to put on a shirt and a skirt today that I haven't been able to wear in over a year. They are still a little tight, but I'm almost to the point where I would wear them in public again! It may not seem like it in the mirror, but when you think of it, 18lbs is quite a bit of weight. It's a shame that my starting point is so high that 18lbs in the grand scheme of things doesn't even seem like a drop in the bucket (well, perhaps I exaggerate some). I read some people's stories that they didn't really notice a change in their appearance until they lost like 60lbs. I really hope that doesn't happen to me, because I really look forward to seeing myself change. I guess the problem is that we look at ourselves every day, and since the change is gradual you don't even notice. I plan on taking lots of pictures so I can document the change... then maybe I won't get discouraged because I'll have photographic evidence of my ... erm... shrinkage. lol.
Speaking of which, I took some photos today... tried to make them somewhat flattering. I did raise the camera a bit above my head to try and show a more accurate representation of what I look like. I must be the least photogenic person ever. The camera makes me look a lot bigger than what I see in the mirror. Plus, it is just easier for me to take a picture of myself with the camera raised a bit. I took some body shots through the mirror as well, but I'm not posting them here... I'm still a bit self-conscious. Here are two photos I took that I actually liked... and I would be interested to know which you like better: Rakel with glasses, or Rakel without. For the longest time I have never considered contacts, but for the first time today I was able to use an eyeliner pencil, so I am getting more confident about having things near my eyes and not totally wigging out... so it seems more like a option now than it ever has. Besides, I am getting to the point where I need to get new glasses soon... but I may just get contacts instead.
Signing off~
Since I've put up a free quote form on my website, I've gotten a few requests. It's a modest number so far, but it's building, which is definitely a good thing. I am working on a new design though, with more advanced search engine optimization to (hopefully) grab more random customers from the world wide web. The biggest reason for the change, however, is the fact that I was really not very happy with the portfolio. It was just too cluttered for my tastes. The new one is better, though it still has some issues that I need to work out. I may just put it out there anyway because I'd really like to get the new design up and it's fully functional is it is, I just need to finish adding things to the portfolio. My next project is the creo ingero redesign, since it still has information on there about web and graphic design. I have moved the design aspect of my business back over to ingero for about 3 months now... creo ingero has just been on the backburner, really. But anyway, the point is, I'm encouraged by the quote requests coming in and I hope that these projects are promising, as that I need some more work!
I want to go see Stardust, but I probably won't see it tonight. I caught the previews on TV yesterday and thought it looked like a really good film a la The Princess Bride (only my favorite 80s movie EVER), so I'm looking forward to it. I'm not sure what showing we're going to and when or who we are going with exactly. I'll let everyone know how awesome it is (or not) after I see it! thought we were going to go to Stardust tonight, but alas, we aren't. There's this going away party we're going to make an appearance at and then we'll watch Pirates of the Caribbean, which we rented because I *gasp* haven't actually seen that movie yet. I know, I know... the thing is, I went to go see it in the theater for free (one of my friends worked at a movie theater) but it was sold out, so I had to go see SWAT instead... which sucked. AT any rate, I am looking forward to getting out of the house for a little bit, or doing something other than working.
I've also been working on a new piece of art over the past few days. It's really lovely using lotus flowers and mandalas incorporated into my scales series... really fun, vibrant, colorful, and extremely detailed (like anyone would expect any different, right?). I can't wait to show it off! ;) Actually, I do have the line art scanned. Check it out:
I haven't posted in awhile so I thought I'd give an update. It looks as though I'm going to have to purchase another computer for home shortly, because I think my Mac has just about had it. I have done clean up after scan after disk repair, even replacing the Ethernet cord and I simply cannot figure out why my internet connection is not working. Well, it works ... I suppose, but it takes a few minutes just to load google, which we all know is a really difficult website to load, with all of it's extensive and large graphics, embedded flash, music playing shenanigans.
Perhaps it's my Ethernet port going bad, but I'm not sure about that either, because I did the speed test via my modem and my computer is *supposed* to be downloading at 215k. At any rate, I haven't really used the internet at home for quite some time now because the only way I can do that is by using John's computer, which he is typically using when we get home from work, plus after sitting at work all day on the computer, my enthusiasm for going home and sitting at the computer further is not exactly appealing. So, while I am frustrated with my Mac's performance, there isn't a huge rush to replace it quite yet.
Other than that, it looks like I may have some new horizons for my business opening up very very soon, which I am thrilled about because it may give me some consistent work week after week, though just like anything, nothing is guaranteed. At any rate, a repeat customer is definitely a sight for sore eyes so I am looking forward to it. Though we are having a world of difficulty with John's document imaging project... which is much more drama than I care to share, but if you are of the praying sort, I'd appreciate your prayers on the resolution of this matter, especially because it concerns getting paid, which we desperately need.
I've also had the chance to make my first round of successful lip colors and I must say they really turned out fantastic! I need to get some better product photos as that the ones I have more or less SUCK, but the product is really top notch. I have impressed and superseded my own expectations! Check it out here, ladies! And if that one is sold and I haven't relisted a new one in my shop, send me a message if you want one!
When Stevie Nicks is right, she is really right.
Anyway! Last week John & I ended one of our records management projects and started a new one. Turns out that it's a lot more work than the previous, so we are hiring one of our friends (on salary!) so I don't have to work on that project full time. Which, is good because I really want to focus on expanding my slice of the pie. It should be a pretty easy job for her. It'll be slow at first, but she'll eventually pick up speed and maybe go from working 30 to 40 hrs a week to 20 to 30.
We'll be moving into a larger (and much nicer) office July 2nd, so I'm really excited about that! We've been talking about moving into one for awhile, especially this particular building, but there have been delays on it. We finally signed the lease a few days ago. It's a lovely stand-alone brick building that's about 900-1000 sq ft with well manicured trees and bushes outside, wrought iron posts, wood paneling inside, and the front door is carved wood with flowers. I didn't have my camera on me (for shame, I know!), but photos are forthcoming! Aside from buying a new computer and a 11x17 scanner, we will probably hold off any major purchases until after we've settled in. However, I did buy some 8x10 frames so the walls won't be *completely* bare.
John & I have some plans on what we want to do with this space, but the most immediate need are our records management and web & graphic design projects. Our goal is to use these as a springboard for other things. I love what I do, but John is not completely thrilled. Although document imaging pays well, which is perhaps it's most redeeming quality, it is the epitome of boring. I will say that when I prep the documents for scanning, it can be rather tranquil, but I don't intend to spend the rest of my life spaced out. You can totally listen to music and audiobooks to make the time go by faster, too, though sometimes your speed suffers if you get caught up in a story or find yourself playing air guitar with headphones on in the next room (iPod commercial anyone?). I can't say that has happened yet but believe me, it is tempting.
Oh, and FINALLY, something that isn't (directly) work-related! I have officially started an Indie blog with a friend. You can check it out here: f*indy -- be sure to bookmark it and check it out daily for cool indie shops and artists!
I seriously made a HUGE to-do list and haven't done that much on it yet because I didn't get up until 4pm today, then by the time I took my shower and ate, John wanted me to go to band practice with him. I'm a softie, so I went, even though the only thing I could do to entertain myself was read my bible and play Magical Starsign on the DS, then we came home and hung out for a bit and I finally started to when he left for work. I have 16 clients and about 9 of them are "high priority" yet I still find myself itching to write something here?
I do have quite a bit on my mind. Like, why can't I be confident to talk to people on the phone? Why can't I come up with something interesting to talk about? I feel somewhat distant to everyone around me, not sure what to say or what to do. I know that I can be shy and introverted, but I wish I could walk into a room and "command attention" as John would say. I have a bad habit of not speaking loudly enough and tend to fade into the background. Whenever there is attention on me and perhaps I'm telling a story, I get nervous and tend to lose people's interest or completely ruin the the punchline anyway. It's just, sometimes I take myself out of the situation and wonder why am I so socially awkward sometimes? I miss my friends from home, though I know that even if I still lived there I probably would never see them, but I knew a lot of people. I enjoy Florida but I just don't know anyone, and it's not like I could strike up a conversation with someone I maybe didn't see much in high school and form a friendship that way. It's just hard to start all over again, especially since I lived in Illinois for so long.
I've also had the issue of my weight heavily on my mind lately. I have lost some weight though I'm not really sure how much. I can tell because my clothes are fitting a little better, and I can wear shoes comfortably that were a bit too tight before, but I still have a long way to go. It's basically depressing, but I try not to dwell on that. I wonder if I should maybe go to a doctor and get a physical exam and blood test... maybe go to a nutritionist? I just don't know. It'd be nice if I could do this on my own, but maybe I don't have enough discipline or will power, as my track record suggests. Obviously I haven't been able to manage it myself otherwise I wouldn't be in the place I am now. To be absolutely honest with you, I don't think my diet really needs much altering. I don't eat a lot of junk food, if at all. The biggest issue are my portions. So, my first step is eating almost half of what I used to. Maybe more like 40%. Example: I used to eat the whole 8" sub and bag of sunchips or baked lays from Quiznos & Sobiks. Now I eat half of the sandwich & chips and save the rest for lunch the next day. I went to Sonny's and ordered a Lunch and ended up boxing about 40% of it and eating it the next day for a meal.
Now, I will be honest with you, sweets are a big soft spot for me. I LOVE chocolate, especially fancy good chocolate. It's easy for me to buy a chocolate bar with maybe 4 or 5 servings, eat about one serving and then carry on with my day. But then I start thinking about the chocolate. I know it's there. It's calling out to me and I obey. I'll eat the whole thing in one or two days unless I can forget about it, which rarely ever happens. I don't eat lots of other candies -- no gummy this, gummy that. No hard candies that are pure sugar. I like CHOCOLATE and ICE CREAM. And really, neither would be so bad for you if you buy products with high quality ingredients and practice a little self control. I don't think I have to give it up, I don't think I could. BUT, I need to learn to be satisfied with only a little piece and make one chocolate bar or pint of ice cream last. If I eat it while sitting at the computer or in front of the TV I will be thinking about something else and tend to want more, because the sensation has not taken the full effect with my mind on something else. I need to sit at the table with nothing but my treat and focus on how delicious it is and savor it. When it's gone, then I should walk away and put it out of mind.
I don't like to have things that I can never have again. For example, I'm not really a huge soda fan. I've more or less decided to stop drinking it, but there may be some occasions where I might have one. For example, I really love rootbeer, ginger ale and stewarts orange cream, and if I get a craving for it, I will indulge. When we go to restaurants I usually get water, but if the water is terrible, I may get a sprite or rootbeer instead. Or, if I go to someone's house and all they have is beer and soda (which happened today by the way) I am definitely going for that POP! But the point is, I don't like totally ruling something out, because then if I have the craving I may be more tempted to totally pig out when I finally cave in, rather than saying to myself, "OK, I can satisfy this craving if I can exercise some self control."
In addition to my portion control plan, I need to exercise. I have started to play tennis with John and a few other friends at least once a week now, though sometimes more. Aside from that, I'm trying to get in the habit of playing DDR 3 or 4 times a week. I played tonight, but I tend to make excuses as to why I can't play. Work is a big one. The thing is, even if I only do it for 30 minutes, 3 days a week, I will definitely be seeing some results from that. I mean, I really enjoy DDR and I love to play it, that's not the problem. I'm not really sure what the problem is. Maybe because I am afraid of failing or something? That's what John thinks my problem is. He could be right, I just haven't studied my motives much. Maybe I should. Maybe I am afraid of giving it my eveything and then having it fail. If I give it my all and I fail, then maybe I am condemning myself to an episode on BIG medicine. Unlike some large people, I really hope that I don't have any medical reason for my weight gain. I'd rather it be the plain and simple cause of simply eating more calories than one burns, because that means that all I need to do is eat less calories than what I burn and *ta da!* I lose weight. Simple. Easy. If there *IS* a medical reason, then I'm going to have to go to doctors, get medicine, who knows what... but I do know it will be a costly affair for someone trying to get by without any medical insurance.
Maybe I can finally get over this demon that I have been running away from since I was a child. All I've ever wanted was to be normal and comfortable with my own skin.
At about 3:00am this morning someone attempted to break into our apartment. John said he heard someone messing with the front door and at first thought it was Kathleen, but then someone was ripping the screen out of his window and making all sorts of racket. He jumped out of bed, and the guy must have seen him and ran away. John looked out the window a few minutes later and saw a silver camero drive away. The screen to his window was sitting on the back porch. What I want to know is why someone would pry off a window screen, run to the back of our apartment to drop the screen and then run to his/her/their car. He/she/they must have been drunk or something. At any rate, it was pretty scary. We called the police, but it was kind of awkward. We didn't really know what to tell them, so they resolved to hang around the surrounding area and look for any suspicious activity.
Apparently the apartment complex wants to move us into a different apartment as well... but that seems unnecessary. The prospect of packing up all of our belongings to move into another crappy apartment does not appeal to me. If we were going to go through all of the effort to pack and unpack, it better be in a house!
In other news, life is pretty hectic as of late. John's working with his brother on this deal that's supposed to get us a fair sum of money, but he keeps changing his mind on how much work we need to do. Like, by the hour. One hour we're doing five boxes a week, the next we're doing twice that, the next we're back to five. If we did ten a week we'd make more money because then once that project is done we could start a new one, but what would be the point? 80 hours a week of mindless work without enjoying the benefits we would reap? No thanks. Besides, I'm trying to run a business of my own, which I enjoy a lot more than records management. I don't want to be a workaholic!
Success is not how many [expensive] knick-knacks you have at home. When I look at all of the things I've acquired throughout a span of 21 years, I'm mostly annoyed because I have so much crap everywhere and I can hardly move around! My room is pending a huge de-cluttering... seems like it always is. I think the remedy this time is to send a lot of things to ebay or the goodwill. For me, it's not about keeping up with the Joneses' -- it's about having an aesthetic living environment in which one can feel comfortable and purpose.
Having started my own business, my thoughts sometimes wonder to how I gauge whether I am successful or not. However, not even 2 years ago I was making $6.50 an hour as a cashier at Sears, and hated every minute of it. I followed with a few other jobs since then, gradually making more money, but after awhile I would grudgingly go to work. While I may not be making a lot of money doing what I'm doing now, I'm having a lot more fun with my job and I love the freedom that it affords. Being able to at least support yourself doing something enjoyable is what I would call success in the world. I may never be a multi million dollar company, but as long as I can provide for myself and my loved ones, then I don't care! My goal in life is to be able to work from home and take care of my future family. Hopefully in the next 10 to 15 years I can have my own store for my products & design/art studio, too.
What I do with my life is important, even more so in the spiritual realm. I should be focusing more on how my life affects those around me, being a good a good witness and to forgive and love unconditionally. I am young yet, and still learning some major life lessons. I have recently had to deal with a very unsavory situation within my family. While I was definitely wronged, I did not react in the best manner, I reacted with anger and pride. I don't like having these things inside of me, I am ready to let it go. That's not to say that I won't be careful around this individual, but I have forgiven him, and should make a point of letting him know, whether he apologizes or not. I believe God has a purpose for everything, and maybe this situation was meant to show me humility and how to forgive. I am a little disappointed because outside of my sister, I haven't really talked to any of my family since I came home from my visit. I thought maybe we bonded a bit more and that they would call to see what's up, but I can't say I've called them either so I can't get too upset about it. I have been busy, though, and it's hard to work in phone calls, plus the timing of everything...
But that's enough for now. I don't know how many people even read this, but ah well! :P
I know I haven't been writing in here very regularly, but what can I say? I've been preoccupied. I started working for John's brother again as of Wednesday. My aim is to work maybe 3 to 5 hours a day or 4,000 shots -- just enough to gain some stability in my income. The pay is not *that* great, but it will get better once I get faster. For those of you wondering, I'm filming employee records for a county in the area for archival purposes. It's deadly boring if you don't have something to listen to, so John and I get audio books from the library. I'm currently listening to the Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas... and a quick google search to double check my spelling brings up an imdb result for a movie made in 2002 with none other than Jim Caviezel as Edmund. Well, I do believe this one will be going to the top of my netflix queue! See what happens when I allow myself to get sidetracked? The internet is terrible for people who are sidetracked easily.
Anyway, I calculated all of my finances earlier this evening and I have all of the money I *need* to survive past Jan 15th currently in my accounts, which I must admit that I was a bit worried about, but I'm sure all of my friends will be relieved to know I am not complaining money anymore. I don't mean to complain, it's just forefront on my mind, and I find myself coming back to it at all times. Of course, I would not mind getting more funds in, but at least I am not laying in bed at night wondering if I'm going to be able to buy groceries.
I love working for myself, but it is not entirely glamorous, especially because I wasn't exactly *ready* to step out on my own, but I really had no choice. But, I've got new prospects for January and now a part time job so I'm hoping it will a bit more like smooth sailing! I still feel incredibly blessed for having the flexibility and opportunity that I have to start building a business -- I could really see myself doing this long term, expect hopefully in the future I'll be able to make more money and work a little less in order to care for children and keep a household. One problem that I am experiencing though, is that it is very easy for me to hardly ever leave the house, or really, to just get up and walk around, so I've gained some weight... on top of what I already weigh and well, it's just not good. I have adapted a better eating and exercise regimen, however the past few days have been very weird.
Well, It's not that I haven't had time to exercise, it's just a time management issue and that things have been a little rocky. It's a lot easier to start something when you have a schedule that's pretty much the same, I just haven't been able to work something like that out. Right now it's tough because John and I are relying on his brother to take us over to work, and he has this bad habit of not being very punctual. So, while I could be exercising, I don't, because I don't want to get 10 minutes into it and then he shows up. You know he's going to be late, but you don't know how late... it makes it hard to start something so you end up just wasting time. Like the past two days I've gotten up at around 9am, but haven't actually started working until after 12:30pm, today we didn't start till 1:40! In case anyone was wondering, the water intake on my volkswagen jetta broke. The dang thing is plastic and totally... broke. We ordered a new part online because we couldn't find it actually IN a shop, so we just have to wait for it to be delivered and then John can put it back in (since he's awesome like that).
This probably wasn't very entertaining, but at least everyone knows what I've been up to!
