11 posts tagged “life”
So, I might as well come out with it. I was working on creating a new website where I would blog, and possibly have something bigger, grander, funner, but... I still haven't been able to get it off the ground. I've been messing around in other areas of my life, yet still not really accomplishing what I REALLY want to. Life happens so quickly... I do wish it would slow down a little.
And I've been living in Florida for three years now. I decided my tiny social circle needed some widening, so I joined a few groups on meetup. There are some events going on in November that I believe I will try and attend in hopes to make some new friends and expand my horizons. It seems like every time the weekend comes we have nothing to do... well, I'd like to change that. I might as well do it now before I have children, but I hope even when that day comes I can still go out and do things I like to do. Seems like some people just turn off completely once they have kids... I know it's hard to get baby sitters, but I just hope I make it somewhat of a priority in my life.
I really want to get more conencted to the art community in Orlando, so some of the groups I joined should help me do that. Today I got an email from one of the group coordinators for an art show coming up that I could possibly participate in, so I'm hoping that I can get that together.
In an attempt to possibly sell some more art to supplement my income, I've also added some new prints to my Etsy shop. Everyone seems to like my art, but I don't sell as much as I'd like to. I know the economy is down and yadaya, so I marked down the prices from $30 to $20 to hopefully entice some potential buyers. Hopefully I can keep this momentum up and continue to list pieces. I have a few more completed and scanned in, plus a few others in progress.
As a preview, here are some thumbnails of pieces you can find currently, or will soon in my shop!
Some of you may be curious how the wedding went. If you are one of the few people who actually read my blog from time to time, I apologize. I'm afraid, however, that there are not many of you out there. Needless to say, the wedding was fabulous. Yes, I did "freak out" days before the wedding... and a few hours prior especially, when I was running late, John was running late, Holden (John's nephew, one of the ring bearers) still didn't have a suit, and so on. Of course, these will be stories we recall with a laugh later, but at the time they were a bit un-nerving. I will say that I probably could have made my self a lot more stressed out and nervous about the occasion than I was -- but I assumed the role of an easy-to-please bride (which I admit is not easy to come by) and tried not to stress about things too much.
All in all, it went quickly... and I was definitely surprised by the well wishes, gifts, and sheer generosity given to us. It was definitely well worth it all to spend some time with folks I haven't seen in awhile, especially my family. I really couldn't ask for anything more! Our honeymoon was a bit short, but it's all we could afford. I'm thankful that we were even able to get as many days away that we could, despite some setbacks (like, the fact that the car was acting up while we were in St. Pete). Sure, who wouldn't want a longer vacation (free of car repairs)? Hopefully we'll have steady and reliable income in a year in order to afford a proper honeymoon! It's something to save for and enjoy on our first year anniversary.... if we make it that long (JUST KIDDING!!!).
What's next on the horizon? Well, we're looking to move into a house (for rent) for a number of reasons... mostly because our apartment complex has some problems that are causing problems, and it would be a better environment to start our new life together in a new place. Our lease is up at the end of June.
I'm just getting over a nasty cold. I'm actually starting to feel like myself again. Yesterday I must have sneezed practically twenty times... and that's no exaggeration. On Monday I left work early, got home and watched TV in my bed for a few hours. I finally fell asleep around 8pm and slept on and off until 8am the following morning... typically I have more energy than that, but I was just exhausted.
So, it's good to be back and getting into the swing of life, getting over sicknesses and ready to tackle new things... like, trying to finish up all of this freelance work by May 17th, which is when our company will finally be closed for good. And also... jumping through all of the hoops to get my name legally changed to Rakel Fairfull!
I've been in a weird mood for the past few days. Maybe the woman thing is to blame, though I don't like jumping on that bandwagon for a week every month. This transition from freelancing to a job is somewhat difficult, only because I am allowing the stresses from my freelancing bother me still. I have some projects I need to finish, and I'm trying to find the time to do them between planning a wedding, working a part time (practically full time) job, and keeping John happy.
John and I went on a double date tonight that at one point became a triple date. It was a lot of fun, and I'd love to do it again sometime. Now that I write it, it sounds kind of boring, but John is the one with the gift of words. I'm often verbose without saying much, whereas when he says something it's thought-provoking and intriguing. We sat at Gators for a long time just discussing the state of our nation, religion, and all sorts of political, social and philosophical issues. I may not always have something especially interesting to add, but I enjoy listening.
We didn't really do anything special on Valentine's day, though we don't really celebrate it anyway. I was content snuggling up on the couch while watching the season three DVDs of the Office. I'll catch up one of these days!
Things have been a little hectic on this end since I started my new job last week. I'm trying to juggle several different things on my plate: a job, freelancing, planning my wedding, etc. Things are still going to be a little tight until paychecks start rolling in, but I'm not really worried about it that much. John is still seeking employment, but I'm sure something will come around for him soon. Well, I anticipated a longer post than this, but I'm not really in a blogging mood -- more out of necessity than desire. I'll be back when I feel like I can relax and write something more interesting about the past week.
I will say that when I got home from work, the water was turned off. That's the sort of thing you take for granted and don't really realize how much you use it until it's not there. Don't worry, it's not off because we neglected to pay our bills (I just thought about that when I was typing this). There are a bunch of guys outside digging up some turf, and I have a strong inclination they have something to do with it because we talked to them and they said the water should come back on in about 3 hours. I'm not sure what they are doing.
What are some ways you save money?
Submitted by Pixiemom.
Save money? Are you kidding? I would love to have money that I could save. I guess I save money because I don't drive that much. I guess.
I've been busy, lazy and everything in between. Sometimes I work too hard and then tire myself out, but I think sometimes creative people are just like that. My productivity seems to come in spurts. I do have quite a few projects I really need to focus on and finish up (money is a good motivator, or should be anyway), but lately I have just been feeling a little BLAH on everything. I had a good birthday, but I have been overindulging myself on eating and failing to accomplish my exercising. The result is that I've gained back some of the weight I lost. I have officially gone nowhere for an entire month. Losing isn't the problem -- I lose about 3lbs a week. But if I keep gaining weight it cancels out my efforts and therefore I am basically just maintaining. It's unfortunate because before my birthday I had *just* got back on track and started losing weight again and then my train derailed for a week. I've been pretty good for the past two days, so hopefully the scale will be in my favor tomorrow.
The apartment has been up-side down for awhile now, and we're finally getting settled back into life. First we had the walls painted, then new carpet installed. We took this as an opportunity to move things around in the apartment and make some more space, so now our home office has a dedicated area. It's not quite completely organized yet, but I'm working on it. There's just a bunch of stuff laying around and I need to organize our shelving system a bit more to make better use of our space, since this is a pretty tiny apartment.
John is looking for a job. I hope he gets one soon, because money is becoming a bit of a problem. I know the Lord will provide, so I'm trying not to worry about it... but that's easier said than done.
It has also come to my attention that I tend to get bitter and resentful, and that's a problem. I need to be more grateful for what I have, so I'm going to try what my sister does in her blog: write about some things I am thankful for. So here we go!
I'm thankful that despite everything that goes wrong financially, we never go without food, none of our accounts are delinquent and our bills are always paid. We may need to go without some comforts and wants, but we have everything we need, and I am grateful for that.
I'm thankful that I have the opportunity of having my own business working from home. The flexibility and freedom it affords is wonderful, and I couldn't imagine working any other way. It's amazing, but I've been doing this for over a year now, and have only had a part-time job once, for a few months at the beginning of the year, and I have not really done any advertising (though I do need to work on my marketing, make no mistake). Not everyone can do this, and so I'm just thankful that I can support myself this way!
I'm thankful that I have a wonderful fiance. Though we are human and don't always see eye-to-eye, it's nice to have someone that, at the end of the day, you feel at home with. I am thankful that he loves me, despite all of my flaws, and is always there to provide support, knowledge, and advice. He means more to me than I know to express, and I can't imagine my life without him.
I'm thankful for my Pastor and my church. I get a lot out of each service, and enjoy the fellowship with the members, even though there aren't many people my age.
I'm thankful for John's family. They have really accepted me as their own and I feel completely welcome and at home with them.
I'm thankful for my sister. We've become a lot closer lately, and I really enjoy talking to her, reading her blog, and just getting to know the big sister I always had, but always seemed too far away. I'm thankful that we have a medium like email and Vox to communicate with each other on our own time, as that scheduling a face-to-face meeting is not only costly, but time-wise it's almost impossible, and with the time difference and busy schedules, phone calls are few and far between. I'm also thankful for her example set in being more grateful despite the challenges life throws at you, and I know that it has helped me re-evaluate my attitude. I know you're probably reading this Angie... so I just want to say more directly: thank you so much. I love you!
And last, but certainly not least, I am thankful for Jesus. I, in no way, shape or form, deserve eternal life, but He has chosen to spare me from what I deserve most, and for that, I am ETERNALLY grateful. There truly is no greater gift or love than God's, and I hope that I will be able to express my gratitude through a spirit of thankfulness then I have been lately. I have been in a real funk, and need to snap out of it. There are so many things in life to be grateful for!
I haven't posted in here for awhile (boy, I start a lot of posts like this!). Life has just been, well, life. You could say I have been a little depressed lately for many different reasons, but I'm trying not to dwell on the negative things. There will always be something you wish you could change. If I can't be content now, then I never will be. That's one lesson I can't forget, but it's so easy to. Yesterday I ended up working all night. I think I worked for like 17 hours or something ridiculous like that. It was quite possibly the most horrible thing I have done lately, and now I'm just trying to get back on track with my schedule. It seems like as soon as I get close to having everything going the way it should, something like this happens and sets me back. Now I have to try and pick up the pieces and hope my clients are not too put off by the delays. I really wanted to get these projects wrapped up ASAP too. I wanted to see how fast I could finish them... *sigh* It's always one thing or another.
My weight loss is still chugging along, and I'm pretty pleased with the results so far! I've lost a total of 17.5lbs. I can't tell a huge difference in the mirror, but I was able to put on a shirt and a skirt today that I haven't been able to wear in over a year. They are still a little tight, but I'm almost to the point where I would wear them in public again! It may not seem like it in the mirror, but when you think of it, 18lbs is quite a bit of weight. It's a shame that my starting point is so high that 18lbs in the grand scheme of things doesn't even seem like a drop in the bucket (well, perhaps I exaggerate some). I read some people's stories that they didn't really notice a change in their appearance until they lost like 60lbs. I really hope that doesn't happen to me, because I really look forward to seeing myself change. I guess the problem is that we look at ourselves every day, and since the change is gradual you don't even notice. I plan on taking lots of pictures so I can document the change... then maybe I won't get discouraged because I'll have photographic evidence of my ... erm... shrinkage. lol.
Speaking of which, I took some photos today... tried to make them somewhat flattering. I did raise the camera a bit above my head to try and show a more accurate representation of what I look like. I must be the least photogenic person ever. The camera makes me look a lot bigger than what I see in the mirror. Plus, it is just easier for me to take a picture of myself with the camera raised a bit. I took some body shots through the mirror as well, but I'm not posting them here... I'm still a bit self-conscious. Here are two photos I took that I actually liked... and I would be interested to know which you like better: Rakel with glasses, or Rakel without. For the longest time I have never considered contacts, but for the first time today I was able to use an eyeliner pencil, so I am getting more confident about having things near my eyes and not totally wigging out... so it seems more like a option now than it ever has. Besides, I am getting to the point where I need to get new glasses soon... but I may just get contacts instead.
Signing off~
Fortunately, my business is starting to look up. I have some new business ventures that may bring in a steady flow of work, which is a freelancers dream. I am busy most of the time & work long hours, but I'm trying to find the balance between work and life. I really need to make certain areas of my life a priority, and I'm letting myself get consumed with work. Honestly I start working and I don't even realize the time that's gone by. I like what I do, but sometimes I do need a break but whenever I do manage to take one I feel a little guilty and recall my huge to-do list. I'm not complaining, but I wish I didn't have such conflicting emotions to work and not to work.
I also really need to work on exercising more. I have been able to keep my food intake down, but exercise would help. I'm watching a special on super morbid obese show on TLC. I've seen it before, but these stories cause the tears to roll down my cheeks and I can't help but relate with these people. I can get up out of bed in the morning and run, but I know what it's like to go to a restaurant and not fit in the seats. I am no stranger to obesity, but I am determined not to let that define me. Today, when I was walking to church I saw my reflection in the door, and it scared me a bit. I hate to see a glimpse of my side and see how everyone else sees me. I guess you could say I mostly pay attention to the mirror. I am beautiful, I just have an eating disorder or something.
Maybe I should enroll in to weight watchers.
I know I haven't been writing in here very regularly, but what can I say? I've been preoccupied. I started working for John's brother again as of Wednesday. My aim is to work maybe 3 to 5 hours a day or 4,000 shots -- just enough to gain some stability in my income. The pay is not *that* great, but it will get better once I get faster. For those of you wondering, I'm filming employee records for a county in the area for archival purposes. It's deadly boring if you don't have something to listen to, so John and I get audio books from the library. I'm currently listening to the Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas... and a quick google search to double check my spelling brings up an imdb result for a movie made in 2002 with none other than Jim Caviezel as Edmund. Well, I do believe this one will be going to the top of my netflix queue! See what happens when I allow myself to get sidetracked? The internet is terrible for people who are sidetracked easily.
Anyway, I calculated all of my finances earlier this evening and I have all of the money I *need* to survive past Jan 15th currently in my accounts, which I must admit that I was a bit worried about, but I'm sure all of my friends will be relieved to know I am not complaining money anymore. I don't mean to complain, it's just forefront on my mind, and I find myself coming back to it at all times. Of course, I would not mind getting more funds in, but at least I am not laying in bed at night wondering if I'm going to be able to buy groceries.
I love working for myself, but it is not entirely glamorous, especially because I wasn't exactly *ready* to step out on my own, but I really had no choice. But, I've got new prospects for January and now a part time job so I'm hoping it will a bit more like smooth sailing! I still feel incredibly blessed for having the flexibility and opportunity that I have to start building a business -- I could really see myself doing this long term, expect hopefully in the future I'll be able to make more money and work a little less in order to care for children and keep a household. One problem that I am experiencing though, is that it is very easy for me to hardly ever leave the house, or really, to just get up and walk around, so I've gained some weight... on top of what I already weigh and well, it's just not good. I have adapted a better eating and exercise regimen, however the past few days have been very weird.
Well, It's not that I haven't had time to exercise, it's just a time management issue and that things have been a little rocky. It's a lot easier to start something when you have a schedule that's pretty much the same, I just haven't been able to work something like that out. Right now it's tough because John and I are relying on his brother to take us over to work, and he has this bad habit of not being very punctual. So, while I could be exercising, I don't, because I don't want to get 10 minutes into it and then he shows up. You know he's going to be late, but you don't know how late... it makes it hard to start something so you end up just wasting time. Like the past two days I've gotten up at around 9am, but haven't actually started working until after 12:30pm, today we didn't start till 1:40! In case anyone was wondering, the water intake on my volkswagen jetta broke. The dang thing is plastic and totally... broke. We ordered a new part online because we couldn't find it actually IN a shop, so we just have to wait for it to be delivered and then John can put it back in (since he's awesome like that).
This probably wasn't very entertaining, but at least everyone knows what I've been up to!
I went to see Borat with some friends today...and I still don't know what to think of that movie. It's definitely not for the faint of heart, that's for sure. I don't have the guts to do something like that... to that extreme anyway. I mean, sure, I've messed with people before in grocery stores when I was a kid -- pretended I was a foreigner or that I couldn't speak -- but it was mostly with my brother. Everyone else probably thought I was a silly kid, which I was, of course.
I don't really want to say if the movie was good or bad, because for most of it, you are just shocked. You're sitting there at the packed movie theater, covering your eyes and barely peeking as... well, nevermind. If I reveiled what happened it would totally lose that shock value that the movie relies on. It's not really something I would purchase or see again. Once w as enough.
But, back on my childhood, I had a lot of good times with my younger brother. I'm only two years old than him, though
The first place my dad lived after he moved out was this duplex that was maybe 5 or so minutes away from my mom's place. He had all of these big boxes from moving... like huge refridgerator boxes that we set up like a fort in the basement with a box of toys. So we'd go down there and hang out. After awhile, my dad started saving food boxes (like cereal boxes, little debbie snack boxes, mixed nut cans, etc) so that my brother and I could make a pretend grocery store. Our currancy was pop tabs!
NOT to mention whenever my dad would take us on "family" vacations during the summer. We'd have two weeks to spend with him and we'd go somewhere for a Gideon Convention or go visit some family. Now that I'm older, I'm glad that I was able to go to so many places and see so many things, but at the time, I hated leaving all of my friends and my mom for weeks at a time. I would get really homesick and well, I got tired of my dad. He always snored so it was hard to go to sleep and he's a military man, so you could imagine he liked everything well planned & structured... so if anything threatened that he was liable to fly off the handle. The point of all this is... if it weren't for my brother, I don't know how I would have stayed sane.
You know something? Only I can change a post about Borat into a memior about my little brother and life. I guess I'm reminiscing about all of this because the last time I saw him was June 1st 2005. I'm going back home for a visit this January (John's coming too! The tickets have been purchased!) and I'm excited to see my family and friends again. I say this a lot and I'll say it again: I miss my family, but I do not regret moving. It has given me independence and taught me how to grow up. Plus, I was really starting to hate the weather there. The winters were starting to feel like a dead-end job where if you worked another day you would just... explode (I know, it's funny I'm going in the dead of winter, right? Yeah. Not exactly my choice, but my sister lives in Denver, and so she'll be there about the same time, so I wanted to meet up with her, her hubby and meet my nephew!). I still feel kind of bad for leaving my nieces, but you only live once, and I know that if I passed John up I would have regretted it. Guys like him are not easy to come by.
There will always be a part of me that is a Chicago girl, but I've embraced Florida as my new home, and my new life, and it's quickly becoming just a part of me as Illinois. Perhaps someday when I look back on June 1st, 2005 I'll see a girl making probably the biggest decision in her life. The decision that litterly changed the direction her life was headed. Of course, there were many things that lead up to that point, but may people can "talk" about what they want to do, and then nothing comes of it. There will be a day when most of my life (oh, about 20+ years from now) has taken place somewhere other than my hometown.
I'll leave with a disclaimer: it's not wise for just anyone to meet someone online and move 1,200 miles away from home. There are many factors to consider before doing such a thing, and I've seen it go wrong. My advice? Don't be in a rush. Long distance relationships are hard to maintain for a long time, but you have to make sure you're doing something in your best interest. It can be very easy to move to a new place, far from home and find yourself between a rock and a hard place. What if it doesn't work out? If you don't have a feasible solution for that occurance, then perhaps you should not move. I say this because I asked and did all of this myself, and I don't want anyone to get the idea that I did anything rash and use that as encouragement for them to do the same.
Woweeee. This post became a monster! :P
